Peer Mediation is an approach to conflict resolution based on solving problems in a win / win way. Students learn how to become active listeners, identify their feelings, make ‘I Statements’ and use all of these skills to resolve any conflicts they may experience at school. This helps children develop their self-esteem and promotes a safe, happy environment where they can learn.

Below are some of the initial skills the students learn across the two sessions:

Active Listening

• Give attention to the speaker (look at him/her, maintain eye contact, don’t fiddle)
• Draw out information by asking questions (what happened next/how did you feel?)
• Give feedback to the speaker (about what was said and feelings.
• Making "I" Statements 
• This is a very helpful way for someone to express how they are feeling, why and what they want to happen.

How to construct an “I” Statement:

• I feel upset (state the feeling)
• When you (state the behaviour)
• Because (state the consequence)
• I would like/I need you to (state the action that they want to happen)  
• For example: “ I feel upset when you laugh at what I do because it makes me feel stupid.  I would like you to stop laughing at me, please.”

It would help your child’s understanding if you can reinforce these skills when resolving conflicts at home.  When they show anger or frustration, you could ask them to use an ‘I Statement’ to express their feelings and needs.

Peer Mediation 

Children also learn about the actual conflict resolution process. This mediation process can only happen if the children with the problem (disputants) agree to the four mediation rules:

1. No interrupting
2. No name calling
3. Be as honest as you can
4. Try to solve the problem  

Below are the Four Key Steps the children follow when working through a conflict with the playground Peer Mediators:

1. Defining the Problem:

The Peer Mediators ask the following questions to enable the disputants to share their concerns and listen to each other.

2. Summarising:

One of the Peer Mediators summarises the overall problem: “So I am hearing the problem is about …”. This ensures everyone understands the actual problem.

3. Finding Solutions/Negotiating:

Possible solutions are brainstormed by asking the disputants one of the following questions:

4. Reaching Agreement:

The Peer Mediators work with the disputants until a solution is reached that both are happy with. The Peer Mediators then congratulate them on reaching an agreement to solve their problem and complete an agreement form which is signed by the disputants. Everyone shakes hands.